I’m a big believer that everyone should spend at least a portion of their life chasing their own dreams. Whether dream chasing is your life focus, or something you do a few hours a month, it has enormous value.
The act of pursuing dreams brings a sense of vitality and aliveness to your life.
It’s fun. It’s exciting. It’s invigorating.
You shift from merely existing, to truly living.
I get a lot of push back from my readers on this topic. People say…
- Chasing dreams isn’t practical.
- Dream chasing is for kids, not for adults.
- If I chase my dreams, who is going to pay the bills?
- It’s irresponsible.
The people who make these comments often perceive themselves as being wise and practical in deliberately not pursuing their dreams.
Rather than argue the point, let me frame things differently with the following statement:
If you are NOT fulfilling YOUR dreams, then you are probably fulfilling SOMEONE ELSE’S dream (without even realizing it).
If you’re at McKinsey and it’s not your dream to be there, then staying at McKinsey means fulfilling your manager’s dream of becoming a McKinsey partner off of your efforts.
If you didn’t want to become a surgeon but you became one anyway, you didn’t fulfill your own dreams. However, you may have fulfilled your parents’ dream of being parents to a surgeon.
If it isn’t your dream to get a loan to buy two cars, a big house, and have 1.7 children, but you do so anyways, you’re not fulfilling your dreams but might be fulfilling the dreams of your bank’s shareholders who profit from your decision.
My point isn’t to argue that you should or should not be fulfilling dreams.
My point is that you ALREADY are chasing dreams.
The only question that’s up for debate is WHOSE dreams are you fulfilling?
YOURS or SOMEONE ELSE’S?
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58 thoughts on “Chasing Dreams”
One more brilliant statement
We (modern people) are concerned about our image, status, wealth, etc so much, and we are rushing to achieve as much goals as it’s possible… But in rushing we have forgot whose goals are. Our real goals or goals have set up by marketing guys or someone else.
Just think about it…
Thanks, Victor
Sure we are borrowing a lot of parts of our dreams of a lot of different people; we are always influenced, the way our parents raised us, the upbringing at and around school, the experiences after school,…
But you can’t discount “free will” in this. There are still some things you don’t have from others, the things we are to a certain extend born with, like your talents (the things you are good at), and then what about your attitudes and experiences?I agree that you can’t always control how you experience them, but you do have some control in choosing which experiences to pursue and with which attitude pursue them.
I think these 3 will be your guide in realizing the dreams that truly matter to you. The things you are good at helps you to figure out the types of dreams you want to chase, it helps you to set the perimeters… Attitudes such as motivation and curiosity give you the kick to start and keep wondering what your dreams are, to grow them and choose new ones when the time is there,…
Finally it is experience I think that will help you understand which dreams are yours and which dreams are not so much yours but more of others. A hypothetical example: I wanted to be a consultant after I graduated; I somehow managed and was a strategy consultant working in Egypt for 2,5 years;
I wanted to test this dream and verify how I would like it working in Europe; Now I am here I am learning and refining that initial dream so that in a couple of years I might end up completely different from what I am doing now, picking up new dreams not necessarily related to the job, but rather the environment; for instance I might want to become a photographer!
Let me try it with one last example, imagine with me for a moment. You’re in this movie, you are the superhero and you have to fight an invisible person. Suddenly you realize you can use sand and mud to figure out where the person is. As it hits the person the sand and mud takes up the shape of the invisible person beneath. The sand and the mud are your experiences and the invisible person represent your dreams, not quite visible yet! How good and long are you willing to throw with the mud? 🙂
I started my day, 10th of June, with a spontaneous decision to finally read some of Victor’s news letters. I say finally, for the fact that I’ve been registered to these news letters since January, yet too scared to open them. I thought I needed to know first, or to make sure even, that this is what I want to be or do (for instance Mckinsey) – at this stage I should thank you Jean Pierre for citing that one never knows what’s next for sure!
Nevertheless, we are subjugated all the time by the aforementioned socially/commercially idealized “roles” or “positions”. So, how can one really ever know if it is his dream, or someone else’s which he follows?
It isn’t that easy to distinguish “happiness” from “relief”! I think this is the prime reason behind any sort of procrastination.
Comments would be gladly received.
Have a fruitful day
Beautiful concise summary. Often we want to be accepted by others so we choose to do things we think they want us to do.
Thank you for the moment of inspiration.
Mikael
As a young entrepreneur (25) who have worked for Worldwide leading companies my whole career I have realized that the only way to keep on tracking of my happiness was to deeply understand myself, my limits and purpose.
In the past years I have invested a greater portion of my free time reading great books, studying my actions, testing myself and finally planning the big move.
Running was not a sport for me, even though, I pushed myself and started to practice it and in less than a year, I was able to achieve more than 1.600km , 2 full marathons and some medals (always on my free time).
But the most important thing that I achieved from running was the confidence and the solid mindset that everything is possible when you TRULY want it.
Still working for a great corporation and knowing that I am a piece of a complex system which is hard to leave, again, I decided to push myself to the limit by running: Running after my dreams.
The first rule, is skip any thought of procrastination and evolve to a great level of execution.
-10 hour daily for the investors.
-5 hour daily for me.
That is my new marathon and everyday I have the opportunity to get close to the finish line.
Regards,
I agree and thanks for the reminder. I know originally i thought consulting was definitely what I would pursue in B-School but I realize now that it is some of the skills from your way of thinking I really desire in an industry role. I am definitely benefiting from your ideas whatever my dreams may be.
Hello Victor and others,
Thanks for the nicely written, provoking posts for a lot of us. I believe in pursuing dreams, life passes too fast for you to live it unconsciously for the sake of someone else. I think this is not easy though, a lot of us are exposed daily to the the ‘ideal’ dreams of life such as getting good grades, a good job, marrying and a big house with a car,… Was it not for the questions you are asking we might easily be all following the dreams of other people?! The dominance of these standard/commercialized dreams already makes it difficult to live your own dreams, but in addition to that it is also scary for yourself to live your own dreams. It means giving up safe ground, stretching your comfort zone to see whether this dream is the thing you like to do.
I like what a friend said to me when I was a little frustrated and told him I wasn’t sure what to do next. He said: “I don’t think we will ever really know what to do next. I think we will always have a certain feeling of uncertainty; is this what I want to do, what I want to do next, when, how?”. I believe you should follow your dreams and not make it too conditional (if I have enough money then I will do this and this…), plan for it (max 2 year plans haha) and put these dreams to the test.
Scared as it may be, I tell myself, would it not be scarier to lived a life without trying? The reward is a depth of life, which inevitably brings deep pain, uncertainty and sadness with an equal intense feeling of joy and happiness. When I feel sad (because I miss the amazing friends I made living in Egypt, that type of sadness), uncertain because of the choices I made to live my dreams I think of what it gives to me, of the amazing depth I have in life because of it. I learn myself to see these emotions as blessings in disguise. The presence of sadness and uncertainty are required to experience the happiness and joy ;).
Have a great Sunday!
Jean-Pierre,
So well said.
By the way, I never said it wasn’t scary!
(an article for another day)
That’s why simple ideas that most people tend to agree with aren’t common practice — it’s fear.
-Victor
I totally agree, in the big scheme of things if your not fulfilling your dream, you are contributing to another’s, the truth is it’s your choice to say I can’t and blame it on being irresponsible and regret it on your death bed, or you can plan for it and ask for your family and friends support and give it your best shot win or fale your a winner and will live with no regrets.
As always Victor, thanks for your timely and robust inputs into our lives. Have always sought to follow my dreams from childhood. This said, these dreams have been better refined from constantly dreaming. At this time, I must confess to myself at-least, that am continuously inundated by thoughts of When and how, although I am doing very well on what and where. I cant seem to bridge this gap. The more these dreams are reinforced, better their withering. Yes have heard, read and seen the Never give up mantra play out, yet am at the abyss despite my continued efforts. any express views Victor?
Niyi,
For the how question, what has always helped me the most was to seek out others who had figured out how to accomplish something I wanted to accomplish. Once I found them, I would try to learn as much as possible from them to understand how they achieved what they did. That has proved to be most helpful.
As for when, that’s a harder question. No simple answer as one needs to balance short vs long term goals, resource constraints, risk tolerance, and passion.
Victor
Very Insightful Victor. Thank you
Excellent thoughts and that is basically what happens in life. So, let’s fight for our dreams to become reality