One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
Car
apartment
family
friends
sobriety
health
brains
body
talent
past mistakes
current opportunities
crossfit
ecstatic dance
Kimberly
George
Nemi
High school friends
B-school friends
college friends
nature
mt. biking
laughter
humor
feelings
AA
NA
Books
movies
songs
that I live in America
that I have some money to get by
Transformation
Landmark Education
weightlifting
sex
the furniture in my apartment
my relationship with my mom
my sister
flip flops
that I live in SF
that I live in California
my diplomas
Princeton
friends
family
food
a home
to feel loved
secure
safe
work
career
learning things quickly
wisdom people have shared
books
education
cooking
being able to not always have to worry about money
knowing this Christmas i have a family to spend it with
being close to my parents
learning from others
being ambitious
clothing
visiting different countries
having a voice
high self-esteem
having the drive to achieve goals
being warm
eating healthy food
exercising at a gym
running in a park
never having a broken bone
independence
University degree
succeeding at work
letting go of the past
being humble
immigration
america
water
support
technology
electricity
clothes
My wife, brain, mother, father, brother, cat, teachers, friends, opportunities, love, health, sport fit, colleagues, love
I am grateful I survived this rape. I am grateful for having a beautiful strong daughter, To live I must and create I shall. art has saved me and will again. I am grateful for being Annie T’s Baby girl, she gave me strength and taught me well I live on. I am grateful for an imagination and yes even for repression, I am grateful in my belief in God, I am grateful for making it past radiation treatment seizures beatings hate crimes molestation rape bigotry all this in this Missouri, I still have HOPE. I am grateful in being me this Black woman, this artist, this Mother, I pray and do my best and help others even if I get slapped or kicked or robbed I continue. I make ART. I am a Missouri artist. Have nothing to prove to no one. I am grateful to see the sun and feel the wind and walk at midnight with God alone after cleaning toilets so I won’t go hungry and yes I am grateful for having met you…I have a voice and am an enigma. I am poor and alone yet never alone and I write and am grateful I made it through this stroke…I am here and I write and you want to know and here it is. what say you now? I paint portraits. I make art no one sees. I get no help in this town for I am the wrong color and the wrong age. I make Art cause I must. Today is my birthday. I am grateful to make it to my birthday. Another year and what a year. I am trying to move and have no money and no help and I must leave and have less than two weeks to do so. here am I send me. I tell no lie. This is my life and I am grateful to be here. I want to be a grandmother. I want to live happily ever after and just make art. I am grateful for my talent and I am grateful to have a chance to say…Just say what I feel and my three minute are up…
Carolyn,
I am grateful you have survived all that your have survived, that you are still here, and we’re able to share your words with all of us.
Victor
I am grateful for
a sunrise everyday, a loving family, friends, a great job, pets, new baby in the family, fairly good health, a warm home, a car, being me and accepted for it, money and cell phone(i supppose), art and every expression of it, computers, food, love, church community, good schools, great teachers, being a USA citizen, children I can now call adult friend, loving husband since high school, empathy,desire to help others, being a little organized, oh and WATER, clean to drink, and of course rivers lakes and oceans to sit near and ponder
I felt nothing before and after the exercise.
daughter husband
father
mother
sister
brother
house
food
water
school
ann arbor
strategy
clothes
money
health
eyesight
hearing smelling
looks
parents
husbands career
house family health job father food internet electronics friends transportation sleep brothers savings
Wife, son, daughter, health, health of my family, my home, my job, my in-laws, cool autumn mornings, ocean waves, little handprints on everything, high pitch laughter of little kids, hugs, hope, warm sunshine, sand lots of sand, my parents, camping, camp fires, campfires with marshmallows, sunsets, quiet mornings, stillness
Health
parents
girlfriend
friends
money
food
sight
opportunities
new york
laura
education
computer
professors
meditation
saints
sivananda
satyananda
buddha
success
bed to sleep on
relatives
challenges