One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
roof over my head, food on the table, my parents close by, my parents alive and independent,my drive, true people in touch with me,my metabolism, my ayurveda practitioner close by,my commitment to health, people to spur me on, genuine compliments from people, able to talk to people I value on the phone,commitment to truth,running water, quite surroundings, help when needed at hand,yoga,meditation,my guru,be spurred to do better, wanting to keep learning, my belief, refrain from negative people,plants in my kitchen window, birds that come to visit, wind chime,my lap-top, internet connection, security guards at the gate, invitation to dinner,the garbage lady ringing regularly at the door, newspaper in the morning, cup of tea, my chair, table,fan over my head,curtains to keep out the sun, electricity most of the time, lack of nosy neighbors,loads of things to do, relief from allergy,my glasses,my posture, my cell phone, land line,the couch, bed,storage spaces, recent paint on the walls, clear smooth unobstructed flow of water in the WC and kitchen sink, constant flow of knowledge and the inspiration provided by my friends,
1. 打网球
2. 吃巧克力
3. 去旅行
4. 和小伙伴一起拍照
5. 什么也不做
6. 在好天气骑自行车
7. 和朋友一起聊天
8. 听音乐
9. 看电影
10. 看杂志
11. 吃路边摊
12. 坐在路边看风景
13. 看一只可爱的小狗
14. 学日语
15. 画画
16. 穿好看的衣服
17. 买鞋子
18. 做在草地上喝酸奶
19. 早上起床体重又轻了
20. 买可爱的小玩意儿
21. 游泳
22. 去海边
23. 逛美术馆
24. 跳舞
25. 家里收拾的好干净
26. 窝在沙发上听音乐喝茶
27. 把脚放在小溪里
28. 坐在山顶上发呆
29. 看动画片
30. 慢慢地做一顿饭
31. 在下雨天睡觉
32. 看书
33. 学说广东话
34. 听音乐会
35. 静静地看一朵花
36. 收快递
37. 晒太阳
38. 一大早醒来一个人玩,等玩好了大家都醒了再一起玩
39. 吃brunch
40. 别人夸我长得好看
41. 喝下午茶
42. 剪一个好看的头发
43. 做个spa
44. 玩游艺机
45. 帮别人做case
46. 随便瞎写字
47. 醒过来的时候被抱着
48. 睡了一小会儿觉得自己睡了好久
49. 喜欢听小众音乐会
50. 没有什么要担心
50 things!
Today
My family
My daughters smile
My warm home
Blankets
Coffee
Warm shoes
Socks
My car
My job
People I work with
Technology
Weather channel
My health
My body
Water
Friendship
Women
Ability to write
Ability to read
Ability to save problems
My parents
Teachers
Stories
Honest people
Smiles from strangers
Ability to help
Kids, family, life, health, parents, friends, job, hobbies, traveling opportunities, relatives, house, car, summer cottage, food, water, air, sun, nature, science, co-workers, boss, challanges at work, body, wife, my past,
1. my family
2. my supportive friends both home and new york
3. my health
4. the fact i go to nyu
5. my eyes
6. my brother
7. my dad whos my best friend
8. my supportive family who are best friends and have each others back
9. i am not in poverty
10. the fact i live in new york city
11. the fact i have an amazing job lined up for me
12. new york
13. the fact that i do cool stuff on weekends bc i live in new york
14. i can afford to live here
15. my parents are supportive in everything i do
16. juice generaiton
17. my closest friends who always have my back 100%
18. delicious food
19. the fact i am indian
20. the fact i am musically inclined
21. i can sing
22. i am outgoing
23. i try to remain positive
24. i have an awesome family life that has shaped who i am
25. where i am in life right now
Intelligence, family, partners, work, university, body, smile, friends, house, food, money, cars, neighbours, world, fruits, water, mountain, exercice, sport, labs, state, laws, protection, ensurances, health, wealth, knowledge, culture, spirit, feelings, experience, possibilities, future, promises, time, objects, clothes, technologies, volunteering, hapiness, desire, sex, willing, girls, fantasies, apetites, music, piano, guitar, trumpet, my music group, parties,
no physical handicap
no mental handicap
have people who love me
have shelter
have food
have warm clothes
reasonably intelligent
reasonable healthy
got the courage to dream big
have the support system to work on that dream
have ajob
have parents
for every moment that I live
freedom
education
for the comfortable chair that I am seated on
did not have traffic this morning
got the rental car that I wanted
driving was smooth
could make my parents happy
had a nice weekend
flight was safe
got upgraded in flight
made my husband happy
my parents like my husband
my husband’s kindness
my husband’s patience
to be in this country
to be in florida during winter
my eyesight is good
my legs don’t get tired after a mile of walking
indian food is available almost everywhere
technology that I can connect with loved ones
financial capability to provide for loved ones
for my parents’ prudence
the food at the cafeteria was not too bad
the ability to empathize
to feel grateful
to be able to think
to speak
to have a bit of sense of humor
50 things:
I am perfectly healthy
My parents are healthy
We have a lovely house
We love travel
I have a lot of friends
I like gym, it keeps me fit
I have a job that I like
I don’t have sisters or brothers, but I have cousins.
I have a lot of books that I love
I can see, hear, and talk
The weather today is lovely
My dad is visiting me in Canada for the first time
I have money to help other people
I live in a peaceful world
People around me are happy
I have lots of hobbies
My parents love me and are very supportive
…..
Sunny weather. Fresh pasta, nice cooked food. Health. Fit shape. Caring husband. Sweet mother. Money. Clothes. Shoes. Surfing. Vacation. Family house. Beautiful beach. Nice hot bath. Dinner party with friends.
Family, wife daughter, savings, job, recognition, eyesight, no STDs, career, ability to learn, friend, sense of humor, ability to keep going inpite of results, ability to help, willingness to help, drive, mitivation to succeed, forgive poeple, love people, feel other’s pain and cry with them, green card, ability to work any job to support my family, a good night’s sleep, enough food to eat,