One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
Mom
Dad
Sister
Friends
Job
Strength
Will to improve
Brain
Being emotional
Ease with which I can change
Air
Food
Mahima
How she bears me
i’m alive, we’re alive, there is still money left to survive, there is still career option left after so much drama, there is money left for sister marriage, there is land in village for future survival, without parents still I’m the most sucessful, I’ve learn a lot in the last year, I’ve explored the spiritual, political, riligious , personality aspects of my life, without parents we’re three sibling are the best positioned, whoever has done harmed to us have been punished by time for their deeds except one but for him to get punishment so much time is left, i’ve plan for whole life and next several generations for personal and professional life, I know how I can achieve it, I’ve experienced almost everything in life, I’m developed in all fronts, At this age I can talk to /belon to any circle world wide, My intellectual quench has been satisfies, I know which business opportunity to pursue, If I’ll get job it will be better than anybody else , I know how to convert my personal and professional life into action. Till my suffering from beginning , I’m still alive and ahead than anybody, I’ve experienced everything sorrow, joy, failure, success in life. I’m a complete personality. I’m a grown man, wise man. I can take responsibility of entire world. Whatever action I will take it’ll be in right direction. Instead of my ego and obstinate behaviour I’ve still option to change my behaviour. What other people achieve at knowledge front , I’ve achieved it at 30, instead of all hardships. I’ve experience of real word, duniya. If I wish, I can become the richesest man of the world. If I wish/choice, I can become the strongst man of the world. I’ve money to spend. Material things doesn’t matter to me. I’m enlightened now. If I choose life can be very good for me and my family from here afterward. Now, I’m a growned/matured person. Earlier I was a child , cocoon. By fighting I’ve learnt a lot, how to avoid it how to go after it later. On learning front and personal investment front/growth front this is the best year of my life. I’ve not quantified it, but I know it from within/inside and this knowledge will guide me whole life and many generations to come. Now I can build an empire. If needed I can take all psychological/spiritiual help. My father and Tarun was not able to survive this disease, buy I’ve saved my sister from this disease. This is a great achievement. I can earn whatever/what amount of money I wish. I can defeat anybody in this world, this is now confidence level now. Now, I’m more wise, know the reality/real world, how the world operates. And this all things I learnt in the last year. Earlier I was a warrior/individual and now I’ve become/transitioned a leader/diplomat. Now I can handle team/manage people easily. Early my people skill was zero, now I’m phd in it. I know what I want from life, who I am, how to achieve the goals of my life etc. Even though, I’ve spoilt all the resources and opportunity, I can create them again. My attitude is changed now. Now, I know anything can be achieved in life. I know about my inner soul, the world, the universe. I know why I’m like this. I know why people are like that around me. I can face any adversity in life more effectively. I know, how to scale, delegate, take help from other. I know the importance of money now and how I can use it wisely now. Earlier I used to give importance to destination, now it’s journey. Earlier my mind was fixed one now it is an emergent one. Earlier my strategy was fixed/rigid one, now it’s fleaxible/emergic. Now, I know my self guilt habit was a destructive one and how to fix it. Now, I know about family and society. Earlier I used to criticize myself always, now I know it’s better to love oneself and forgive oneself. I used to criticise other, used to hold grudge, revenge mentalitity. Now I know the power of forgiving, letting it go nad live lfe well. Earlier I used to control and resist but now I know the power of accepting, vulnerability, surrender, alignment with nature etc. I know I can bring my life back on track, still I’ve resources left after so much drama. There are so many things to write. Now, after this exercise , I think I was crying without any reason. Thanks for this reason.
I am grateful for..
1. having my little daughter in my life
2. her smiles, laughter, naughty winks, trusting hug etc etc 🙂
3. having a healthy body, a normal body!
4. parents who gave unconditional love
5. so many cousins
6. the beauty of nature around
7. having a good house
8. steady income
9. being able to afford many things
10. being able to smile in most conditions
11. bringing smiles on face of closed ones
12. brothers and sisters who respect the family
13. being living in a great time of the world
14. to do work that excites me
15. of being able to bring value to my clients
16. of being less critical and more forgiving
17. of getting kindness from Almighty everyday
18. of having a great friend who taught me a LOT
family
friends
girlfriend
cat
dog
apartment
roof over my head
job
mom
brother
live in Canada
rain
wind
car
sports
girlfriend
fresh air
water
video games
extended family that sticks together
cottage
ability to take vacations
50 things I am grateful about:
1. My wife
2. Health
3. Love and respect for learning
4. Love for sports
5. Desire to work hard
6. Resilience
7. Education
8. Ambition
9. Whatever wealth I have
10. Sister
11. Brother-in-law
12. Teachers
13. Friends
14. Openness
15. Music
16. Literature/reading
17. Colleagues
18. USA
19. Brazil
20. India
21. Scientific aptitude
22. Soccer players from whom I learn
23. Love that I get from others
24. Whatsapp
25. Travelling
26. Exercising
27. Different places that I have been to so far in life
28. Experiences that I have had so far
29. Soccer
30. Swimming
31. Running
32. Writing
33. Bosses
34. Parents
35. Car
36. Computers and laptops
37. Smartphones
38. Coffee
39. Water
40. Life itself with all its ups and downs
41. Space exploration
42. Writers – P G Wodehouse, Harper Lee, Joseph Heller, etc.
43. Advances in sciences
44. Achievement in engineering, technology, medicines, etc.
45. Potential of renewable energy
46. Electric cars
47. Institutes of learning
48. Entrepreneurship
49. Elon Musk (his work is inspiring)
50. Last but not the least, the Internet, especially the wifi one 🙂
Life
Vollyball
IIITM
Mother
Father
Son
Friends
Job
Pulsar
Poetry
School
Swimming
Cooking
Job
Confidence
God Blessings
Life
Now I am very much occupied in my mind. Difficult to write.
Health
Knowledge
Friends
Family
Career prospects
My environment
being able to walk
being able to run
coffee
goals
dreams
hopes
future
travel
possibilities
best friends
music
close people
random encounters
feeling like we are all in it together, its a game
potential
dreams
warm clothes
a roof over my head
transit
food
drinks
fans
blankets
computers
electricity
data
information
knowledge
power
exuberance
jokes
laughing
sighing
crying
being afraid
being proud
looking out for others
others looking out for me
adventure
tension
waiting
preparation
ability to see
hear
taste
feel
experience
liveliness
knowing im here
BMW car 1-series
being born / living in Moscow (Russia)
working for a great Japanese company
being gradiauted from a great school
having classmates which remain close friends
doing snowboarding / carving
going to Alps
having a dream of going to Tokyo
snow in winter an rain in autumn
French and Italian cuisine
GMail mailbox
iPhone & true user-friendliness
my pretty wife
and my family
inner power to fight with any professional challenge
not taking business problems personally
ability to wake up at 6am
connection to clever consulting people
today
good weather
health
work
money
computer
internet
house
bear
cheese
wine
coffee
parents
partner
water
food
friends
colleagues
learning
university
smartphone
games
TV
anime
pants
brain
eyes
flowers
sky
air
trees
hair
nice skin
garden
windows
seeing people running
voice
sunlight
rubber bands
Jeremy
Paul
Tom
Lee
Paul – #2
Mom
RA Funding
Advisers who read my papers
Interviewers willing to take a chance on me
Dad
Laine
A warm house
Affordable food
Recognizable education
College Football
Great books that lift my spirits