One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
I am grateful for having a family
For my loving husband
For beeing back in Spain
For having people who care about me
For seeing my family so often
For living in a country in peace
For having water, food everyday
For beeing able to do my Masters
For having a niece
For having an another probably on the way
For having friends
For still beeing able to enjoy time with my grandma
For her good health still at 93years old
For having so many things to be grateful for
Daughter
Health
Husband
Parents
Average wealth
My studies
Sun
Health
Way of living
Work conditions
Parents
Memories
Life experience
Travelling
Friends
Knowlegde
Ambitions
Ability to choose and do whatever hobby
Attractiveness
Ability to control and to reverse my thoughts on life
Healthcare
Sleep
Food
OK, three minutes are gone.
For some reason a decent part of these things appear to be egocentric.
It looks like one would better be grateful for the things that are given to you not by yourself but by somebody else, especially somebody who is not your relative or friend, or who is probably not even aware of your existence.
While writing this I had a feeling of gratitude and devastation at the same time.
When I started mentioning these things, I thought I would write a lot more than I actually did. But I ran out of them quickly and had to force myself to remember what I am grateful for, and that gave me the feeling of emptiness.
And now I can’t tell if I feel happier or not.
Oleg
DL
Mom
Dad
Brothers
Sister
Job
Healthy
Economy
School
Sweden
God
Cooking
Internet
Computers
Networking
Friends
Memories
Goals
Ambitions
Education
Understanding
Love
Caring
Emotions
Books
Intelligence
Swedish Government and Law
Ability to Workout
Looking good
Fashion and clothes
My Life in general
Humor and laughter
Joy
Appreciation
My driven personality
My 5 sences
Croatian Culture
My background
My life
My brain
My parents
My brother
His Kids
My health
Inessa that i have a well paid job
that I am Russian
that I have been around the world
that I can read
that I have so many people I can call friends
I climbed mountains
I like girls
I tasted a steak
I tasted fruits
mountains
sea
forest
I speak spanish
movies
home
grandparents
animals
music
books
parents
family
friends
job
opportunities
food
close friends
ability to learn and grow
music
food
kbbq
technology
alcohol
traveling
cars
s2000
slickdeals
television shows
movies
home
education
job
CPA
clothing
surrounded by people who care
iphone 6 !!!
investments!
sex
income
career
sports/basketball
security/being safe
the internet 🙂
-Victor Cheng!!!
being able to give your opinion
Wife
Health
Affordable living
Money
Brother
Friends
Memories
Aspirations
College
Web
Mentors
Food
Shelter
Vacations
Parents
Cousins
Intelligence
Interesting subjects
Present moment
Buddha
I am gtreatful for my Sweet family, Intellegent Son, Cute Daughter, Good Job, My qualifications, my parents, my sisters and brother, my working ethics, faith, integrity, honesty, cultured, respect for others, fast, Go getter, Reliable, trustworthy, Confident, Happy, Traveller, Enjoy every thing I do, I have nice home, I stay close to beach, healthy, manage on my own, independent, earn good income, have dreams to achieve, laid down my future plans, hungry, passionate for learning, always try to deliver at my best. Love for friends, better host, open minded, accomodative, respect everyone, gets frustated for failures, innocent some time, talks more, communicative, feel proud some times for my achievements,
I am greatful for:
having the father i have
having the mother i have
having the brother i have
windsurfing
kitesufing
wakeboarding
having family and ties in New caledonia
New Caledonia
red wine
french culture
still being to kite
recovering from my injuries
the sunlight on my face
the beautiful lagoon i kite in
Friends
best friends
david
marin
emilie
the british girl i just met
the portugese girl i am dating
the opportunity to travel all around the world
being Australian
being educated
that had the opportunity to be educated
french food
Being a daughter of my amazing mother
Being loved by a wonderful man
Educated
Can speak more than one language
Don’t have to worry about money
Healthy
Get to experience the world
Not being a blind-sided narrow minded person
The comfortable peacock couch that I’m sitting in now
Delicious food whenever I want
Got a massage
Great health care
Not deformed
Living my dream right now
Future that is though unclear, is quite safe
financial security
My dog that has been with us for > 15 years
Being alive
Have an opportunity to make changes to what I don’t like
Free to dream big or small
Finally found someone that I love and will be with for year to come