One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
I thought 50 things in 2-3 minutes would be really hard, then when I was writing these I felt very grateful and also at peace. I did struggle and paused (I guess analysing whether this is something I was really grateful for and/or whether it made sense) and then wrote it anyway. in the end, i thought it was a good experience to reflect and acknowledge the things I am grateful for, as one of the most disappointing things is to be taken for granted and I cannot take things for granted that I should be grateful for, too. thanks VC!
1. My parents
2. Being born smart
3. Met my crush
4. was dissappointed but able to bounce back
5. Zen trip to foot of Mount Kinabalu borneo 2012
6. Solo backpacking adventure SEA 2014
7. Top 50 regional employee Hong Kong trip 2014
8. Friends I met in CFA class
9. Special names Syahid Zain, Shareena, Aziemah, Izzat Esa
10. Being who I really am
job, money, friends, family, good health, ability to think, good judgement and decision, justice, chance, education, curiosity, openness, love, kindness, forgiveness, reflection, philosophy, spirituality, effort, honesty, humanity, nature, diversity, beauty, peace, happiness, originality, help, travel, globalised world, optimism, progress, acknowledgement
family, wife, children, country, God, faith, health, opportunity, education, skills, talents, gifts, friends, trials, transportation, freedom, life, technology, teachers, air conditioning, indoor plumbing, safety, democracy, constitution, airplanes, water, animals, oceans, trees, beautiful vistas, sandy beaches, mountains, work, colleagues, fun things to do, steel, concrete, stone, birds, fish, toys, simple pleasures, memories, ability to read, ability to write, contributions of others, great sermons, community events, the 4th of July, Christmas, birthday celebrations, bbq, great food, homemade pizza
Well, let’s try!
1 – Parents and their health and effort to make a decent man out of me
2 – my friends
3 – Victor’s effort to make our life better
4 – the favorite musicians
5 – my university and business school
6 – cinema I love
7 – amazing stories
8 – la delgada linea verde
9 – last autumn
10 – long skype talks from abroad
11 – my music bands
12 – starostats
13 – student union
14 – amazing mentors through life
15 – heroes of our time
16 – winter corporate party
17 – critical thinking
18 – childhood
19 – summer in moscow
20 – that special flat in outer space
21 – skills I learnt
22 – English language
23 – Internet
24 – love interests
25 – modern civilization
26 – history
Well, I guess I am out of time.
Interesting feelings for sure, it seems to me it is worth doing sometimes. At first I thought that this is awkward, but when I started to think about things I’m grateful for, positive thoughts filled my mind.
It’s hard to say how I feel after this five minutes – I’ll try to let it flow for a while.
Things I am grateful for:
My wonderful life
My parents
My education
My friends
My teachers
A great culture that I have around me
Nature
Diversity
People
Experiences
Skills I learnt
Quora
God
My phone
My laptop
Destiny
Things that I am grateful for: 1. Have happy family; 2. Have healthy parents; 3. I am working at a company with good payment and benefits; 4. I am single & free; 5. I have best friends; 6. I have smart brother & sisters; 7. I have an android tab; 8. I am good looking; 9. I am good at English; 10. I can enjoy listening to the music now; 10. I am not hungry at most of the time; 11. I am living in a peaceful country; 12. I am young and will forever feel young; 13. I am soon having holiday to Bali; 14. I have visited Great Wall of China; 15. I have a sister studying in Germany; 16. People love me;
Assistant Professor before age of 30
Opportunity to go to college
not being a postdoc anymore
Being able to move to NY
My brother being able to go medical school
Leaving Miami
Being able to buy a car
being able to go to crossfit
being engaged
having a nice home
having a pet that I really like
Having tons of long-term friends
My friendship with Michelle
My friendship with Marcus
My friendship with Regla
meeting Andre
Having the opportunity to travel to random places
to have a family to love; be healthy; my parents new house; successful; going to Cambridge; graduating with good grades; my parents are proud of me; my parents are healthy; my brother is healthy; i live in a free country; I’m free; can do most of the things I want to do; I can travel; I got a job; have good friends; have lots of friends; know many people and have good networks; i got to live in London
good weather, god, his blessings, a room to stay, food to eat, good friends, night life, sociallife, health, girls, new job, my dream city, office to work in, parents, the fights and the love, driving around in car, sleep, songs, commute, new people, more responsibility, challenge, growing up, more money, travelling, great experiences, all the adventures, fun, my colleagues, phone, old colleagues, view from office, ocean winds, reunions, busy life, eating in gurudwara, time spent reflecting, the phone calls, farewells, old memories, good boss, sister and her family, friends who helped me achieved my dream, my previous job ,my mindset, my demons which keep me in check, my rebellion to break free and your email 🙂