One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
my girlfriend
my education
my achievements
intelligence
be aware of things
to be amazed by small things
to read books or listen to music that bring me to tears
my vital experience
my grandma cause i learnt sthing
ti have the push
to be always motivated
to impact people
The cool weather.
The winter makes snow for me to ski.
The free transportation to ski area.
The dinner my friend made for me.
Countless time my friend bought things from supermarket for me when I couldn’t go there myself.
When the cashier try to explain things to me even when she doesn’t speak English.
When other student lends me her bicycle.
50 things i am grateful for
1. getting free food at work
2. getting hug from someone when i am tired
3. when i know that my mom is proud of what i am doing
4. when somebody thank me, when they achieved something because of my advice
5. when i give someone something that they don’t have, and i don’t need it
6. when i am in the bus and somebody helps me carry my stuff
7. in the parking lot, when a guy just pop up to help you push the car that is blocking your way
8. when someone pick up something when you drop it
9.hugs from boyfriend
10. when my bf is doing something for me on special occasion
11. when my work does really makes impact on people’s life
12. have good friends who understand and give you support
13. have someone who take care of you when you sick
14. when you are tired and someone ask you if you need help
15. sharing few thoughts and ideas with friends/bf
16.being able to see you long lost friend again
17. travel aboard because of your job, even for business purpose
18. Google
19. Graduated from top uni in the country
20. brother give you money
21. paying for mother’s meal
22. doing DIY stuff for bf
23. be able to safe lots of money
24. pray
25. yoga
26. understand other peoples’ pain and being able to comfort them
27.getting new opportunity in career
28.teddy bear
29. waking up early and be able to get a lot of things done
30. travel the world
31. eat yummy food
32. cooking
33. good weather
34. meet your favorite idol
35. listen to people success story
36. helping out your colleague
37. taking care of your dog
38. corgi
39. making video for bf
40. donate money to dog NGO
42. give money to those who in need
43. make merit
44. meditation
45. reading book about life (dhamma book)
46. song
47. my bf
48. buying something from my own saving
49. seeing your friend’s success
50. get full sleep
My girlfriend
My family
My house
My pet
My education
My friends
A sunny day
A comfortable bed to sleep
The food I eat
Pizza
My PC games
Where I live
The books I read
The countries I visited
The people I met
The landscapes I have seen
The experiences I had
The challenges in my life
my almost perfect health
my partner
my mom
my intelligence
my analytical capabilities
my friends
todays the technology
my broad range of interests
the fact that i cannot be or stay bored
the beautiful city i live in
the beauty in all things
Describe how it felt..? Hmm….pathetic. So many things i thought i probably should be grateful for, but they are all the things that I actually don’t want in my life and want to change. Like that I have a big house. Well I don’t like my big house and I want to get rid of it, but cant because of certain circumstances. So the exercise made me feel sad and lonely and pathetic in stead of making me feel happy. There are the basic things most people have, like eyes that can see, ears that can hear etc. But am I really supposed to be overjoyed that I can see? I mean, I was born that way. I know that there are people who cannot see. And I understand all that. But to me, it is a basic thing that doesn’t make my life any different. It is something I should have and have a right to. I wrote about sight that I am happy that I was able to have surgery and fix my terrible eyes. Now that is something I can really be grateful for. Simply having eyes, I think is something that is expected. And like you said yourself, my analytic and critical mind simply won’t allow itself to feel overjoyed at the basics. It wants more. And I fail to see why not.
Stefanie,
Thank you for sharing. Would you be interested in feeling happier and would you be open to a suggestion from me?
Victor
1. having had my eyes done and being able to see well again
2. having people who love me
3. having a good job albeit not an enjoyable one
4. being healthy
5. not being fat
6. hving had a good upbrining
7. discovering new things every day
8. being able to write here today
9. people i have met in my life who taught me so much
10.
I am happy for:
-my health
-my resilience
-my family
-Megan
-Paul
-Michel
-Steve
-Tim
-Eddy
-Greg
-Justine
-Elyse
-Mike
Fresh food on table
Good health
Roof over head
Friends to go to in adversity
Educational pedigree
ability to enjoy a good laugh
improvisational capability
good work to do on a daily basis
nature to retreat to in leisure
working out to maintain health
a loved one to rely on
I’m grateful for:
water
traveling
clothes
Colombia
parents
siblings
friends
Wharton
milk
blue skies
bicycles
smiles
happiness
rain
sun
camping
thinking
writing
expressions
music
parties
singing
theater
my apartment
my roommate
classes
knowledge
work
love
love
love
kisses
hugs
nice people in the street
smiling people in the street
river walks
books
reading in bed
concerts
cooking
health
feeling well
E factor
classes