One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
my life, my wife, my child, my second child on his way, my parents, my brothers, my big family, my country, my faith, the church, the place that we live with my wife and children, today, yesterdays, my mistakes, my friends, my studies and career, the struggle in my head, and this blog!
Parents, financial condition, health, education, open mindedness, love of friends, college, school, house, books, knowledge, wisdom, being a human being, gender, height, weight, graduation degree, marks in school, the phone in my hand, the website I’m writing for right now, internet, Google, teachers, tutors, acquaintances, role models etc
i am alive
i am breathing
i am good looking
i have a family who loves me
i have my life partner
i can think
i can speak
i can smile
i can sleep well
i can play
i can play tennis
i have love of things
i can fight
i am determined
i am looking forward
i have a few good friends
i can write
i can read
i can type
i have enough things to live as normal as i can
i have apple products
i love cars
long lasting friendships, old running shoes that work, a computer that still works after several years, a good mountain near where I live for running, the beet and humus salad that I had yesterday, my two peaceful coworkers, the cool air of autumn, good, fulfilling books at my bedside, friends around the world who are willing to have deep conversations with me, nail clipper in proximity for when my fingernails and toenails get too long, a washing machine that does a decent job in just 34 minutes, tranquil moments in the morning walking to work watching elementary school children carry their lunch boxes as they walk to school, the friendly guy at the bank who always seems to have a feel for what you’re feeling, grateful that I haven’t gotten sick from my own disastrous cooking, two good films on my desk for watching later, a journal and a pen to record the small moments that make up everything.
Not quite 50 things, but my 2-3 minutes are up…
Health, family, career, challenges, schools, great work colleagues, good friends, nice car, campervan, cats, regular holidays, learning, exercising, good salary, warm house, kids, watching them grow, live in gorgeous part of UK, good food, fun, laughing, support structure, making a difference, motivated, planning for a good future for family …..
My sister, my family, general conference, having some direction in life, pouring my heart into something, my wife, holding my wife, driving through the mountains yesterday, having a car, having an apartment, living in the USA, having earning potential, friends from CT, having great friends, shooting guns, the big sky, getting exhausted after working out, having free time enough to work out, the excitement for my future, investing, role models, my dog, my job, the people i work with at my job, feeling like i get to make a difference in peoples lives at my job, cardigans, my dads job, sleeping in on sundays, the scriptures
life
mom
bro
dad
naniji
iit
dubai
hbs and gsb
jhonny
friends
aieee rank
strength
books
tvseries
hair
intelligence
satellite
debating
english
1. My family
2. Nate (my SO)
3. Friends
4. Wally (my cat)
5. My roommates
6. My health
7. My family’s health
8. Money
9. Good job
10. Education
11. Opportunities I’ve had—work, travel, scholarships…
12. Good parents
13. Good sisters
14. Nate’s friends and family
15. Motivation
16. Good metabolism/not fat
17. Knowing how to work out/stay in shape
18. Positive life outlook
19. Sense of humor
20. Nate’s sense of humor
21. My openness
22. Nate’s lovingness
23. Summer in Seattle
24. Europe
25. Family vacations
26. Getting divorced before having kids
27. Selling my car
28. Getting my car
29. Leadership skills
30. My self-control
31. My empathy
32. Christmas
33. Parents’ happiness
34. My clothes/fashion
35. My grit
36. My proactiveness
37. Nate’s resilience
38. My frugality and practicality
39. Nate’s YOLOness
40. Athleticism
41. Work experiences
42. Boss likes me
43. Co-workers like me
44. Sanity
45. Dad’s busy-body-ness; keeps him young
46. Caring mom
47. Sushi
48. Nick found someone
49. Photos/memories
50. Rose bowl
Monisha, Anna, Mae, Noona, Innie, Lynnie, Will, Julie, Matthew, Jaclyn, Paige, Lucy, Nee Nee, bluegrass, Hayward, friends, music, friends in education, dedicated nonprofiters, alma maters, my house, neighbors, Navy experience, shipmates, opportunity, dad
listening to favorite song
know my life is screwed
got drinking huddies
gave advice to friends
take minutes for a 3 hr meeting
bored at work and i knewvi didnt like it
friends cared about me
planning for a trio to australia
grandma is fine
i have a niece
i like beers
i have a pleasurable life
im scared of screwing up my own life
i spend too much time on youtube
i have people cooking for me
i can go to work without getting stuck in the traffic
i got friends to talk to
my mom wants to talk to me
colleagues are nice to me
had lunch with my bro
set up a happy hr appointment with a friend
had cream cheese bagel for breakfast
i have somebody to wake me up tomorrow
i have things to do on halloween
2 friends from singapore come and visit me soon
both of them coming on the same day
i like comedy
im struggling at work and i know it
i have a lot of lunch buddies
my party is so good that everyone wants to come
my friend is texting me
my house has a nice view
i work in a nice area
i am heavily in debt and i wanted to deal with it
i invest in stocks
i am good in making excel analysis
people find me funny
i have already had 36 things to be grateful for
i love movies
somebody share the liking for woody allen with me
i went to gym today
my friends look happy on facebook
my bro is doing well at work
i enjoy listening to my favourite song at niggt
it is still not 10 pm yet
tomorrow is one day closer to friday
i am busy this week
i will be having breakfast tomorrow
people at the gym are nice
i have quite a few books to read
i still want to succeed