One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
1. my family
2. my education
3. my health- all abilities function well
4. growing up comfortably
5. the opportunities that I have been given
6. like the opportunity to visit several countries outside the US, even though my parents have never left the country
7. my roommates
8. my caring and considerate friends
9. access to food
10. not having to worry about safety on a daily basis
11. access to technology
12. modern medicine
13. not having to worry about being treated poorly because of the way I look
14. the nice weather today
15. my cognitive abilities
16. great TV shows
17. being able to afford many of the things I want and need in life
18. being alive and conscious of my existence
19. speaking English as my native language
20. having a comfortable place to sleep at night
21. opportunity to meet new people all the time
22. the ability to communicate through language
23. the feeling of being well rested after a good night’s sleep
24. vegetable fried rice
25. living in a country where I am pretty much free to express myself as I please
26. the ability to walk
27. the ability to learn
28. shoes
29. sunny days with a clear blue sky
30. the fact that hangovers don’t last forever
31. trust
32. the beauty of the earth
33. the miracle of modern flight
34. being able to perceive light
35. fruit
36. the great view from my apartment
37. almost immediate access to information from around the world
38. indoor plumbing
39. consuming food easily
40. makeup because I like it
41. my clean apartment
42. my bed, especially when I am tired
mom, food, water, friends, family, headphones, music, kanye, education, u of m, being able to learn, books, iphone, laptop, loving people, gf, fraternity, roof over my head, kind bars, having a car, my hometown, health, sports, movies, gym, basketball, soccer, law library, ross school of business, nice clothes, shoes, brain, thoughts, caring personality, upbringing
parents, social status, education, openess of family, girlfriends, friends, money, material things, my patience, car, city where i lived, city where i am currently, time, career opportunity, brothers, spiritual family, good upbringing, holiday home, farmhouse, access to information,
i’m grateful for my passion to playing piano, for my dreams and my great teachers at school and uni,
for my hands, for endevours and challenges in my life.
How did I felt?
I felt warm, it was like I have fallen in my sweet dreams, i have gone totally in the past. Actually I don’t like to think about the past, it seems to me unuseful. But this execise make me stop and think about the past, and I didn’t want to leave it. Now I feel like a child who was taken from a piece of candy…
1. Very supportive parents
2. Have a stable job
3. Have a very patient, caring, and handsome boyfriend
4. Be able to live on my own
5. Very big and pretty eyes
6. Many friends to talk to if needed
7. A healthy body
8. Live in a nice, simple society with great environment
9. Able to walk
10. Can listen
11. Read a book on sofa
12. Can bake several great bakeries now
13. Always be able to learn
14. Work with a great team on history lab offered by Princeton university
15. Can afford things within a reasonable reason
16. Live in a very nice apartment
17. Very loving and caring family
18. Can smile
19. Have the opportunity to go abroad
20. Gradually reach tiny personal goals everyday
Son, Neeru, Prito,my smile,brain,personality, parents,the environment, water,air,house,luxury,upbringing, speech,courage,wisdom, guidance,sound,songs,beauty,weather,
I am grateful for…
My mom
my new nephew
my loving little brother
a healthy family
my apartment
my comfortable sheets
my health
the sunny day
nice weather
living in California
living in San Mateo
having good food
knowing how to cook
my work
my office
my officemate
my friends
that I have a car
that I got to work safe this morning
Victor’s daily motivating emails
other motivating emails
my phone
my roomate
1. Healthy body
2. Above average intelligence
3. Above average family background
4. Healthy family members
5. Able to travel
6. Great colleagues
7. Flexible work culture
8. Stable country, don’t have to worry about natural disasters or getting mugged on the street
9. Being able to leave my belongings unattended most of the time
10. Not having to worry about food or money ie poverty
Health
Family
Looks
Money
Work
Time I have with my family
Friends
kids
(unconditionally loving me) parents
a well paying job with a company thats growing fast
a nice house
wide circle of friends to hang out with
my family cousins, aunts uncles, grand mother who is still alive
healthy parents
my good health
close friends I can trust and offload on
my independence to earn and spend
dancing, singing talent
my creativity and energy
sense of humour
my quiet time in evenings
my drive to work when solitary