One of the wonderful things about writing for my newsletter is appreciating the incredible depth, talent and diversity of my readers.
In my last article, I wrote about the 80/20 on Happiness. When you wake up in the morning and also right before bed, think of 3 things you are grateful for. Do this for a week and you will feel 10% happier.
One of my readers, Eric, sent me the original empirical research that measured the effectiveness of this approach. Thank you, Eric!
Since I received a ton of questions about this topic, I thought I’d elaborate on a few things.
- It is better to write down your 3 “grateful things” on a piece of paper than to just think about it. I tend to favor whatever is easier, because if something is easy, it is more likely to get done.
- The 3 things you are grateful for need not be the same things every time. Simply state in that moment whatever you are grateful for, no matter how big or small.
Now I know that many of you might be thinking this happiness stuff is way too woo woo for someone analytical like me. I know this because I used to think that too.
Then I had a thought.
What is the purpose of your career and all the hard work you are doing?
Is the goal to NOT be happy?
Of course not.
If the end game is happiness, then doesn’t it make sense to see if there is a shorter, faster, and easier way to reach it?
I promised to reveal why the gratitude exercise works.
But I thought I’d do just one more exercise first. I encourage you to do it. It will take only 2 minutes:
Scroll to the Comments section below to post a comment on this page. In your comment, list as many things as you are grateful for that you can think of in 2-3 minutes.
The key is to write fast.
Do not over think. Write for speed.
Okay, here is the kicker… (don’t freak out).
Try to write fifty things you are grateful for in 2-3 minutes.
After you are done, describe how you felt — before, during, and after the exercise.
Then read everyone else’s responses.
I promise you if you make the effort to do this 2-3 minute exercise (I know it’s a pain in today’s click-happy world), you will surprise yourself.
Trust me and give it a shot.
In the comments below, write 50 things you are grateful for… and after 2-3 minutes, just stop. Don’t think. Write fast. Don’t write what you think you are supposed to be grateful for. Write for anything large or small that you are grateful for.
Go!
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427 thoughts on “The 80/20 on Happiness – Part II”
I have all my limbs perfectly working
I can see
I can feel
Victor Cheng for sharing this with me
I have food to eat
I have people who love me
I have people who thinks about me
I have people to remembers me when they feel happy or sad
I am able to share this with others
I have a nice home
I have a great family
I have got great friends and colleagues
I have always got what I wanted
I am able to help my customers achieve their goals
I am able to help others
I am able to think for the betterment of this world
I have a good office
I have a car that I like
I am able to listen to music when I need to
I am virtually able to do anything that I want to
I am able to think about around me
I am thankful to my parents to bring me to this world
I am thankful to wife for marrying me
I have a lovely daughter
I am able to stop things that I do not like to do
love
also bacon
pizza
ice cream
restaurants
my family
my husband
my kids
my intellect
friends
pilates
being able to exercise
walking fast
air
fresh air and cool air
fall
fall colors
trees
water
walking around a lake
thanksgiving
christmas
giving gifts
being able to buy gifts
finding a good sale
a comfortable bed to sleep in
feeling safe
my little condo
traveling
babies
smiles
meeting new people
cake
shoes
being fit
not drinking
freedom from alcohol
freedom from fear
letting go of negative thoughts
letting go of anxiety
positive outlook
positive attracting positive
good people outweigh bad people in numbers
a loving god
goodness
love
sun
hot
family
friends
light
health
happiness
smile
eyes
sports
school
friends
flat
grandparents
easy life
can afford almost what I want
no trouble
spirit
thinking
food
beauty
hair
trips
reading
interesting people
culture
close people
new people
world
living
still a long time
can build my career
decide what I want
I’m grateful for…
– Being able to see my mom on a weekly basis in person
– That I can talk to my dad online
– That my dad is a computer geek and wants to help me with my website
– Bf
– roommate
– my health
– my eye sight
– my apartment with the sunlight in the mornings
– that I can live in such a cool place in the city
– SC
– interesting work where I get to learn new things
– being able to roll into work late
– that i’m young and have a lot of time ahead of me
– for places I’ve been able to travel to
– my smart phone so I never get lost and can generally look things up
family, boyfriend, job, diplomas, the city I live (Budapest), my dog, health, outlook, friends, opportunities, environment, car, flat, professors, colleagues, boss, WU, Vienna
relationship
loving mother
opportunity to move
healthy
live in a safe place
I am inspired by people
No troubles
Meeting a friend in the train
Finding an inspiring book
Having dinner with friends tonight
Seeing another friend in two days
Funny people and humor
Changing career orientation
Discovering minimalism
Attending a good university
Opportunity to do a year abroad
being healthy
doing exercise
fencing
having a job
having a good salaray
moving to the city
walking in the forest
being with my sister
knowing that I have an extended family
simple, tasty food
using my brain
having the freedom to work on whatever I want
having smart colleagues
having pleasant colleagues
working at a high-ranking institution
having, some, job security
seeing that I can influence my career path
The illusion that change is possible
Meditation
Lazy Sundays
Physically demanding vacations
Good tea
Reading novels
Reading technical literature
Food
Work
Fresh air
My health
My smile
Other’s smiles
Running
Not running
Watching series
Reading
Thinking
Stressing
Hugging someone
Kissing
Focusing on something
Good design
Happy bus drivers
Apples
Effective days
My favorite shoes
My new shirt-rotation system
My job
Learning new things
Meditating
Swimming
Ice cream
Drinking beer
Making tacos with friends
Snoozing
Playing Hearthstone
Being creative
Helping people
Teaching business skills
Teaching improv theater
Doing improv theater
Riding my bike
After reading some of the other lists, I notice how many things i “missed” 🙂
george
money
health
brain
heating
food
family
Victor, it will be really useful if you could share your thoughts from this exercise. My first observation — at first I thought most responses with Indian names tended to list family as the first thing they’re grateful for, but as I read more lists I was amazed that most people list some human element first. It was quite an eye opener for me, though it seems obvious, but sometimes the things we tend to take for granted…and other things we place too much importance on…